And Isn't It Ironic..
by Queen Kakia
Summary: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Isabel's the fairest of them all. Oh, *really*...
1. Once My Sister

POV: Max:  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic...  
Don't you think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._  
  
  
**"Isabel and I found each other first."  
-Max, Balance**  
  
Well, not really. She found me. And that's when I fell in love with her. Something inside me was pushing me towards her, telling me that I had to spend the rest of my life with with her. Maybe it was cupid's arrow. Maybe I'd been programmed to fall in love with the first girl I saw. My pod was closer to Tess', so they probably thought I'd see her first. But Tess wasn't "born" until six months later, so I fell in love with my sister.  
  
Once my sister. Now my sister. But for the hour before the Evanses found us, she wasn't my sister. She was my soulmate.  
  
Once Michael's soulmate. Perhaps now Michael's soulmate. But Michael had left her. And I'd stayed.  
  
So this was my reward?  
  
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm spending all of my childhood life with her.  
  
That hadn't exactly been what I'd meant.


	2. More Than Looks To Go On

POV: Michael:  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic...  
Don't you think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._  
  
  
**"Michael, this can't be."  
"I know. But why not?"  
-Isabel & Michael, Max To The Max**  
  
Why not indeed? I love her, so it's not her, it's me. No matter what she's going to say.  
  
She plays with a lot of boys and breaks their hearts. She's doing it to me now. I always felt badly for the poor, stupid boys who fell for Isabel Evans. They deserved it, though. For falling in love with a girl, especially Isabel Evans. Especially for falling in love just because of her outer beauty. If they'd actually known anything about her, they'd have instantly realized that she'd be a horrible girlfriend.  
  
So that's her trick. That's why she doesn't open up to anyone. Because guys won't like who she is. They wouldn't even like who she pretends to be--that's just a show for her girl friends. The reason she's so distant is to get guys. And with nothing but looks to go on, it's impossible to resist Isabel Evans.  
  
But there's a flaw in her logic.  
  
Me. I know her. I know her better than any guy in the world, in fact--possibly even better than her own brother. But I love her anyway.  
  
Because even with more than looks to go on, it's impossible to resist Isabel Evans.


	3. Through Her Eyes

POV: Maria:  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic...  
Don't you think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._  
  
  
**"But that's when I realized what it's like being you."  
-Maria, Monsters**  
  
It was a scary thought. I could feel what Isabel Evans was thinking. The most popular girl at school--the one every guy wnted and every girl wanted to be, and *I* could identify with her. And suddenly I didn't just want to *be* her. No, I'd already had a glimpse of that, and it wasn't as glamorous as I'd thought. But I wanted *her.*  
  
It's funny how when a woman finds out that a man is gay, her reaction will be, "Aw, damn," and she'll give up pursuing him. But when a man finds out that a woman is lesbian, he gets turned on and only more determined to have her.  
  
I think lesbian women feel the same way about straight women that straight men feel about lesbian women. It's the fact that you can't have them. That they're right out of your reach. Which makes you want to reach farther.  
  
But it's not just physical. no, her stunning features aren't the only thing that make me love her. It's a lot deeper than that. It started about her attitude...that was what attracted me in the first place. The fact that she was so scared under the attitude, THAT was what glued me to her. Her caring over Michael when he got sick--she might have snapped at me, but I admired her love for Michael. And for Max, when he was captured. I needed that love... I wanted Isabel to love me like she loved them, but more, because I needed hot, passionate kisses; I needed raw, intesnse makeout sessions.  
  
Michael is destined to be with Isabel. Everyone expected me to be jealous, and I am. but not how they expect. Because the one I'm jealous of is Michael.  
  
I want to be Isabel Evans' soulmate.


	4. Cruel

POV: Liz:  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic...  
Don't you think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._  
  
  
**"It kind of seems that you've got all these guys in school interested in you...like practially every single one of them, but you kind of tend to keep pretty platonic."  
-Liz, Heat Wave**  
  
I wanted her to reply something real. I didn't want a sarcastic answer. Then again, it was Isabel Evans. How could you get emotion from her? But I wanted to hear...that no guy in the school did it for her, or no guy she knew, or maybe even that she wasn't attracted to guys. That she was lesbian.  
  
She's an alien. But I'm a human. And for my species, it's not natural...how could two female of a species take to each other? It was lethal for the survival of the species.  
  
She's an alien. And I'm a human. And for our species, it's not natural...how could two members of different species take to each other? Hybrids only come when the parents are bred. So how can I be attracted to her on my own?  
  
But I AM human, and she's...well, she's some advanced species of aliens. She's partially humans, too. And our species can think. I'm wondering wheyher this is a good thing or a bad thing. What if we were all homosexual?  
  
Isabel is cruel to me. Max is sweet, so sickeningly sweet that it can, on occasion, threaten to turn my stomach. If I go for someone cruel, my heart will end up broken. It's a bad idea--all the magazines say so.  
  
But maybe what I need is for my heart to get broken. Max has had, at a time, the power to break my heart cruelly, but never did. He was always so gentle. And I think that disgusted me. If you're going to break up wih somebody, then break up with them, dammit!  
  
Maybe he didn't think I can handle it. But I can handle a lot more than it seems like I can.  
  
The reason I fell for Max in the first place was because it was so strange. He's a totally different species.  
  
I think the reason I fell for Isabel was because it was even stranger. She's not only a different species, but she's the same sex as me, and her personality juxtaposes mine.  
  
Maybe we would have something like Michael and Maria--a love/hate relationship. The way Maria envied me for a Max, I envied her for a Michael. So maybe the one I should be attracted to is Michael. But I don't think Michael would be the same way to me. Just as Max wouldn't be the same way to Maria.  
  
Only Isabel would be cruel to me in a relationship. And that's why I need her.


	5. White Chocolate

POV: Alex:  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic...  
Don't you think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._  
  
  
**"I'd do anything."  
-Alex, Crazy**  
  
Anything. For that princess, I would go to the ends of the Earth. Isabel Evans. Even the name gives me shivers.  
  
She's beautiful. And she really cares about people. And she's a hell of a kisser.  
  
I think I'm the only one in the world who knows that. The only one who really cares about her, that is. All those other guys--I hate to think of the fact that they might have gotten physical with my princess. The sex-crazed maniacs. They don't even care WHO they're getting it on with, as long as she's hot. All they want is action.  
  
But I love her. Nobody loves her like I do. Max, maybe, but he's her brother.  
  
Michael could be formidable competition. He's a lot better looking than me. But he doesn't love her. I mean, yeah, he loves her, but in a brotherly way. He must be blind. How could anyone NOT be infatuated with Isabel Evans?  
  
He has a blond, maybe he's like all other guys. All he's looking for is...  
  
No. Still, Isabel beats Maria.  
  
Funny, I just noticed how all the girls I hang out with are blond. And al the guys have brown hair. Except Liz, but she might as well be a guy. She's just my buddy. Maria once in a while. But Isabel. Forever and ever and all of eternity.  
  
Maybe Michael doesn't notice that there are two kinds of blondes. There's the Maria kind: bubbly, cute, easy to get along with, and very loud. Popcorn.  
  
And then there's the Isabel kind. Pure white chocolate. Breathtakingly beautiful. She walks by you once and she has captured your attention forever.  
  
It sounds cheesy. I sound like an idiot. But there aren't words to describe her...no words that don't sound fake and processed, anyway.  
  
She's perfect.


	6. Ice Queens

POV: Tess:  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic...  
Don't you think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._  
  
  
**"Like no matter who you may be with or what you might think, that you and this other person are destined to be together."  
-Tess, Four Square**  
  
Have you ever gotten that feeling, Isabel? Because I have. Many times. Ever since I got to Roswell. Since we've arrived here, I've gotten that feeling every time Nasedo has mentioned our previous lives. Like no matter what I might think about Max, you and I are soulmates. I mean, we both like extra sugar in our yogurt. Now who in the world does that, besides the two of us?  
  
I mean, people who also have a craving for Tabasco.  
  
Because Max doesn't do it for me. He's nice and all, but he doesn't excite me. Michael? Exciting and all, but he scares me away; doesn't draw me in.  
  
But you. You enthrall me. You capture my attention and reel me in and capture me. I never thought anyone would ever be able to do that, not even Max.  
  
I never realized you would be so full of life. I never really thought about you until I met you. Max would be my soulmate...soft but strong. Sounds like a "sanitary napkin" commercial. Michael would be the warrior, tough and no-nonsense. And you...you would be Michael's chosen one. You would just be there. In the background. You wouldn't interact with me.  
  
Maybe in our past lives we didn't talk. Maybe we didn't have girls' nights, watching chick flicks and painting each others' nails. Maybe we barely knew each other in our past lives. Maybe all I knew about you was that you were my brother's sister and Michael's fiance.  
  
We didn't know what we were missing. But maybe that was a good thing. Because, much as the human part of me hates to admit it, we were dependent on our husbands. We were nobody--just their wives. I was the queen, but I was just Max's wife. You were of the royal court, but only as Michael's wife. And where would we have been without these husbands?  
  
You make my heart beat quickly, you make me occasionally lose my inner balance. I've never lost outer control. If I do, one day, there's no doubt it will be because of you.  
  
And that's a BAD thing. So I SHOULDN'T want you. But, see, it would all be worth it. I've never had fun in my life, until I met you. Sure, a little bit, but I've never thrown back my head and laughed.  
  
Whoever would've imagined, Isabel Evans, ice queen of the school, would teach Tess Harding, ice queen of the Universe, how to have fun.  
  
This is a funny planet, Isabel.


	7. ...Don't You Think

_The old man turned ninety-eight  
He won the lottery  
And died the next day  
It's a black fly  
In your chardonay  
It's a death row pardon  
Two minute too late  
And isn't it ironic  
Don't you think_  
  
"Isabel!" Max called. He had to use the bathroom badly, and she'd been in there for at least a half hour. He loved her, but couldn't she take a little less time?  
  
There was no response. He groaned and walked to the kitchen.  
  
Diane Evans looked up fro the mass of papers and enevlopes in the kitchen. "What, no hot date tonight?"  
  
Max blushed. "Mom!"  
  
"Where's Liz Parker?" his mother continued.  
  
He blushed even hotter. "I don't know. Working, I guess."  
  
"Hmmm. Isabel doesn't have a date tonight either. Didn't the two of you used to have social lives?"  
  
Max walked over to the refrigerator, opened the door, and looked inside. "No, that was Isabel. I never did." There was nothing in the fridge worthy of being eaten. He closed the door and went back to hall.  
  
"Isabel!" he yelled, pounding on the bathroom door. No response. "Isabel, if you don't answer, I'm picking the lock." Which was code for using his powers to open the door, but he wasn't going to say that with his parents in hearing range.  
  
But there was no answer again. Was it possible that Isabel wasn't in the bathroom? That she had locked the door from the outside and snuck out, probably to go somewhere where she wasn't allowed--either by their parents' rules or by his?  
  
The more he thought about it, the more logical it seemed. She'd done that before, once. So, using his powers, he unlocked the door, and pushed it open.  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic...  
Don't you think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._  
  
Michael must have paced around the room for ten minutes. There was absolutely NOTHING to do. Nobody had wanted to hang out tonight. Maybe he should just go to sleep.  
  
He almost laughed out loud at himself. Go to sleep EARLY? On a school night? What had he inhaled today?  
  
Then there was nothing to do but go out. And he didn't need the others in order to go to a movie or something. He WAS, after all, a lone ranger.  
  
Michael grabbed his jacket from the closet and opened the door. He was about to leave when the phone rang, startling him.  
  
He toyed with the idea of leaving it and letting the answering machine pick up--if it were anything important, the caller would leave a message.  
  
Then he changed his mind. Nobody ever called him for things that weren't important. Except for the rare telemarketer.  
  
On the third ring, he picked up. "Hello?"  
  
"It's me," Max's shaky voice told him at the end. "Sit down."  
  
  
_Mr. Play-it-safe was afraid to fly  
He packed his suitcase  
And kissed his kids goodbye  
He waited his whole damn life  
To take that flight  
And as the plane crashed down, he thought,  
Well isn't this nice_  
  
Maria walked up the the couple who'd just sat down. "Welcome to the Crashdown, how may I help you?"  
  
The man reviewed his menu. "Two Will Smiths, please."  
  
Maria smiled thinly, wrote it down, and took the menus. This was getting old. No wonder Liz had quit.  
  
She walked into the kitchen. "Two Will Smiths," she yelled in the general direction of Jose. "Hey, Courtney."  
  
"Hey, Maria." Courtney opened a packet of spearmint Tic-tacs and put one into her mouth. "Want one?"  
  
"Is that a hint?" Maria asked, grinning and taking one. "I love mint."  
  
"No kidding, me too. Why doesn't the Crashdown have mints by the register?"  
  
Maria shrugged. "We should ask Liz's father."  
  
Suddenly, the phone rang.  
  
"Maybe that's him now," Courtney suggested, picking up the phone. She held it to her ear for a few seconds, then handed it to Maria. "It's Liz," she said in an undertone. "She's upset."  
  
"Oh no, what'd he do THIS time," Maria groaned. Max's heart was in the right place, really, but every time he did something, he said something wrong or something bad happened. She picked up the phone, ready to be the consoling best friend. "Yeah?"  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic  
Don't you think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._  
  
Congresswoman Whitaker had alrady left, leaving Liz to lock up. That was what she was supposed to be doing, and for once, that's what she was doing. Not snooping, looking for alien files, but actually closing the office.  
  
It was eerily quiet, and she wished someone were around. Anyone. She didn't like being alone here. Something could attack at any time.  
  
Okay, she was being paranoid. But she'd earned the right to be afraid. Her life since she'd found out about the aliens had proved that things like this could happen.  
  
She finished the last batch of papers and put them in the drawer. Good, she was done. Now she could go home.  
  
Suddenly, the phone rang. Who would be calling at this hour? Unless they wanted to speak to her.  
  
She picked up the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Liz?"  
  
"Max?" If he was going to beg her to get back together, she just might hang up on him. It was late, she was tired, the last thing she needed was to feel guilty for crushing Max's heart again.  
  
"Hi." He sounded weak. This didn't sound like a plea. "Um. I have...news."  
  
"News," she repeated dumbly.  
  
"Yeah," he affirmed. "Bad news."  
  
  
_Life has a funny way  
Of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay  
and everything's going right  
And life has a funny way  
Of helping you out when you think everything's going wrong  
And everything blows up in your face_  
  
Alex walked into the Crashdown, the door ringing behind him. He sat down at a booth, and waited for someone to come.  
  
He looked up as Courtney walked out from the kitchen, looked around, and headed towards him. "Hey, Alex."  
  
He didn't know her that well, but he figured she was okay. "Hey."  
  
"Do you know what you want?" she asked.  
  
He looked at the menu. "Actually, I'm not really hungry. I'll just have a coke."  
  
"A coke," she repeated, muttering to herself. "Okay, hold on." She walked to a nearby table, took their order, and walked back towards the door. It opened right before she reached it, and a shaking Maria stepped out, clutching the door for support. Maria said something quietly, and Courtney's expression turned shocked. Maria leaned on Courtney and they started to go back into the kitchen.  
  
Alex jumped out of his seat and ran across the room, almost colliding with someone. He reached them, practically panting.  
  
Maria looked up, and he could see that her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were tear-stained.  
  
"Oh no." He stroked her hair as she started to cry. "What happened, Maria?"  
  
  
_A traffic jam...  
When you're already late  
A No-smoking sign...  
On your cigarette break  
It's like 10,000 spoons...  
When all you need is a knife  
It's meeting the man of my dreams...  
And then meeting his beautiful wife_  
  
"Attention. There will be a MANDATORY assembly for ALL members of this school, without exception, as soon as first period is over. Anyone caught cutting will be heavily punished." The principal's voice blared over the loudspeaker, but Tess barely heard it. She didn't even know WHY she'd come to school, but they had all decided to. It wasn't like she was any good here--since arriving in class, all she'd done was stare at her pencil.  
  
The teacher continued speaking. It must have been English. Why would a teacher lecture in another language? But it didn't sound like any words she knew. Just muffled sounds.  
  
It was either five seconds or five years later when the bell rang--she'd lost all concept of time. The word 'assembly' hit her mind. Oh, yeah. There was an assembly now. No doubt in her mind what THAT was about. Maybe she shouldn't go. It wasn't like she'd get anything out of it.  
  
'Anyone caught cutting will be heavily punished.' The voice replayed in her head. Then again, maybe should should go.  
  
She followed the crowd of feet into the auditorium and sat in the back. Not near the others. They would all be sitting together, but she wasn't in the mood for company. She hadn't said a word since she'd found out, and she wasn't planning on it.  
  
The principal walked onto the stage and signaled for quiet. For once, the noise level declined quickly. Everyone who didn't aready know was curious to see what was so urgent, and everyone who knew...well, they wanted to show respect.  
  
"Some of you know why I called this assembly," the principal started. "And some of you don't. Some of you are wondering why it's so important that nobody missed this assembly."  
  
He cleared his throat. "Last night, one of our students committed suicide."  
  
There was a rush of whispers suddenly, throughout the room.  
  
Tess hated it. She hated all of it; everyone who ever whispered to someone else when they found out about a death. Those idiots. Didn't they understand that death was something to be shared only with yourself? That before talking about something, you had to think? Didn't they realize how stupid "Oh, wow, I didn't know" and "Is he for real?" sounded next to the announcement of a death?  
  
He continued talking, but Tess was no longer paying attention. She traced her finger with her perfectly filed thumbnail; first softly, but then digging and trying to tear her skin. Trying to ignore the inner pain by hurting her outer body.  
  
Her heart was aching. She'd never hurt this badly in her life. She'd never even been able to imagine it. Her whole body was convulsed in pain, not physical pain, which merely shocked you, but emotional pain, which was breaking her down. She wanted to cry, but she hurt too much.  
  
When Nasedo had died, she'd felt shocked, empty, scared, and angry. Never really hurt, though. She didn't care about the skins, as long as they didn't interfere with her. Which they did. As long as you don't care about someone, they can't hurt you. But here, she cared. She cared so much it had already ached, even beforehand. And still, she'd had gone and murdered herself.  
  
The irony of the situation almost killed her.  
  
  
_And isn't it ironic...  
Don't you think  
A little too ironic...  
And yeah, I really do think  
It's like rain...  
On your wedding day  
It's a free ride...  
When you've already paid  
It's the good advice...  
That you just didn't take  
And who would have thought...  
It figures._


End file.
